


That Word Not Lust

by EgoDominusTuus



Series: First Words [4]
Category: Fallout 4
Genre: First Word Soulmarks, Gunners, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, That Word Not Lust, What is love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-02-21
Packaged: 2018-05-22 09:27:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6074023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EgoDominusTuus/pseuds/EgoDominusTuus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack's favorite word has always been his own name. For a while, just hearing that is enough... until it isn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Word Not Lust

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [My Favorite Word](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5992762) by [EgoDominusTuus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EgoDominusTuus/pseuds/EgoDominusTuus). 



> A small section of this is taken from the story that inspired Jack and MacCready's relationship - they're always going to meet the same way, after all. <3 I hope you enjoy.

The entire concept of a  _ soulmate  _ was so fucking antiquated to me that I just decided it believe it wasn’t true. I’d grown up without any words on my body for the early portions of my life. They were vague memories when my skin was bare… but they were quickly overtaken by a scrawl looping on my chest, curling between my nipples like it meant to burrow straight in and find a home in my heart. 

_ Why should I trust you, mun-- Jack?  _

__ The only word that I recognized out of the entire thing was my name - my parents sure as fuck didn’t let me in on what the writing had meant, though I’d seen scrawl on my father’s back and my mother’s thigh before. They just told me that the words were pointless, because they never really matched up with who you settled for. Still, when I was young, the thought of  _ soulmate  _ was fascinating, and I fell asleep with my hands curled over the writing, fingers caressing my name. Whoever they were, they’d know  _ me _ .

   Growing up, especially when you were forced to do so at a young age, has a way of kicking you out of such silly notions as  _ soulmate  _ and  _ happily ever after _ . Slitting your first throat before you’ve even had your first growth spurt certainly helps that cynicism along. I was with the Gunners by the time I was a teenager, and I was starkly aware of the fact that the words on my chest were something that I didn’t need to give a second thought to - I wasn’t going to do something stupid like fall in love. It was a waste of time, and I didn’t even know what that word meant, anyway. My parents had never taught me; they’d tried their damndest to sell me to the local butcher like a piece of meat in trade for food. 

   It was no wonder that I’d gladly spilled their blood to prove my loyalty to the mercenary group. Still, when my heart thundered with adrenaline, I could have sworn that I could  _ feel  _ those words on my chest, trying to burrow down into my heart with a secret whisper of what they really meant.

   Ignoring it in favor for following more primal instincts, like  _ lust _ , was very enjoyable. The years passed, and I crawled up in the Ranks of the Gunners. I jumped from Private to Captain before I was twenty years old, and after some strategic murder and fucking, I was the leader of the entire group of mercs-for-hire. Under my lead, we became more organized and efficient than we’d ever been before. Our ranks grew, and I happily fell into the background. I appointed a scapegoat - a man with words curled around his neck that I never bothered to read. They weren’t important, after all.

   Me and my words of  _ Why should I trust you mun-- Jack?  _ retreated to a camp that wasn’t really all that important, to look at it. It was the central recruitment hub for the Gunners, however. I would personally make sure that the people who passed through our ranks were worth me taking them in. With Captain Wes taking the heat in case someone tried to assassinate the leader of the Gunners, I was free to focus my time on the things that I enjoyed. Fighting, fucking and hearing the sweet sound of people calling out my name.

   I ignored the small thought in the back of my mind that none of them ever addressed me first as a  _ mun _ … whatever the fuck that meant. I happily listened to cries of,  _ Jack _ or  _ You’re so good at this _ … and I tried to put the looping curl of words over my heart out of my mind. 

   It was no wonder that I sometimes found myself less horny and more violent when the people I took as lovers had the balls to try to touch the words on my chest. I told myself it was because they only got to touch where I  _ told  _ them they could. I ignored the fact that I was protective over those words that didn’t  _ matter _ . They were  _ mine _ , even if they didn’t actually mean a goddamn thing.

  Telling myself that was pretty fucking easy, because that word that went with  _ soulmate  _ wasn’t one that I had in my vocabulary anymore. I’d forgotten that it even existed - I didn’t know what it meant, anyway. 

   I’d all but forgotten to think about the words on my chest when I went out for a mission - sometimes I got bored in the camp, when I’d finished fucked my way through all of the people who held my interest and there was no one left to kill. When I felt stir crazy, I went out with groups - we ran simple missions to take out people who tried to work in Gunner territory. I was fiercely protective of our turf, after all. Caravan Guards were positions that my men led - whoever thought it was a good fucking idea to step in on Jack’s territory had another thing coming.

  I didn’t think anything about the boys guarding the Caravan… and I didn’t think that my body would physically react to see one young guard standing out above the rest, the flash of a silver muzzle, gunfire… blue eyes in the moonlight.  _ Oh. Yes.  _

  There was no guilt in me as I hung back and watched the young sniper take out the half dozen men that I’d brought with me to loot the caravan - it didn’t look like it had very decent supplies anyway. Clearly, what I’d really been looking for was standing in front of me now, lowering the barrel of his weapon and wiping a few droplets of blood from his face where one of my boys had gotten close enough to induce some blowback.

  Crimson smeared like a love letter on his cheek, and I watched him pull the hat that he wore off to slick fingers through blonde hair. Where he’d come from, the Commonwealth hadn’t touched him the same as the others.

   Wherever he came from, I knew where he was going. One way or another, he was leaving with me. 

  I didn’t approach him then; I had a feeling that, had I done so, he would have tried to take my head off just as much as the Gunner’s that he’d wiped out. I  _ did  _ notice that he took the time to check my boy’s pockets for anything of value. A slow smirk spread across my features as I listened to him curse softly under his breath. His hands came down, fussing for a moment at the scarf around his neck, I think checking to make sure there was no blood on it… and then he went back to the caravan. 

  I’d see where it was going, and then I’d let him know where  _ he  _ was going. There was no denying Jack the things that he wanted - I only hoped that my little Sniper, as it were, made the right decision. I’d truss him up and bring him back to my room if necessary. 

  He walked through the rest of the night and into morning, dropping the caravan off at the designated location. I made a mental note of the camp - we could always come back and get their supplies later - and then followed him out as he started to backtrack. I waited until he was well out of screaming distance of the little settlement he’d gone to, and then I silently slid up beside him. My voice spilling out caused him to jerk, his fingers instantly going for his gun. With a small chuckle, my fingers dipped into my pocket, grabbing a Grape Mentant to pop between my lips. 

  “Calm down, I’m not here to hurt you.”  _ Yet.  _ “My name’s Jack,”  _ you’ll be shouting it very soon.  _ “You look like you might be a good shot. I was wondering,” My fingers dug into my pocket, and I pulled out a small bag that shook in evidence of the caps inside, “Are you for hire?” My lips spread into a slow, charming smile, and my free hand came up to tuck a few strands of hair from my gaze. 

   “Why should I trust you, mun--” He cut himself off, blue eyes narrowing, “ _ Jack _ ?” A small little shiver trailed up my spine at the way he hissed  _ those words _ out. 

   Those words. 

_ My words.  _

    I didn’t understand the way that my heart picked up at the sound of his voice, with the knowledge that I’d  _ found  _ the person who was meant to speak them. I didn’t understand anything, because it was a word that wasn’t lust, and I didn’t have a grasp on the definition anymore. I only knew one thing - deep and sweeping through me, planting in my chest directly under those words. It was a thought that wouldn’t go away, and a promise that I was making to myself. This sweet little blue eyed kitten was going to be  _ mine.  _

~~Soulmate was such an antiquated word~~.


End file.
